<![CDATA[Dinger Magazine]]>https://www.dingermagazine.comhttps://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!h_LH!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0864e7cc-35e3-428e-bde3-1b74c99d2dd8_422x422.pngDinger Magazinehttps://www.dingermagazine.comSubstackMon, 19 Oct 2026 09:08:55 GMT<![CDATA[Prescription corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/prescription-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/prescription-cornerSun, 18 Oct 2026 15:27:09 GMTMy doctor wanted to put me on an SSRI, but I told him I wasn’t ready for Lexapro. Instead, we started with Lexamateur.

]]><![CDATA[Piss and cum corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/piss-and-cum-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/piss-and-cum-cornerSat, 17 Oct 2026 14:03:12 GMTBoth come out of the penis. Yet one tastes AWFUL, and the other taste only slightly less awful. Explain THAT, science!

]]><![CDATA[Monster corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/monster-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/monster-cornerFri, 16 Oct 2026 14:03:39 GMTImagine a Frankenstein’s monster but with the legs of a werewolf. Now make him a sexy teen. BOOM. Billion dollar idea. Now if only I could get Ben Affleck attached to direct …

]]><![CDATA[Having not watched the monologue but having seen a bunch of takes on it on Instagram, this is DINGER MAGAZINE’s official response to Shane Gillis’ SNL joke about women at gyms]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/having-not-watched-the-monologuehttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/having-not-watched-the-monologueThu, 15 Oct 2026 14:02:45 GMT‘Tis a pity she was a whore? Well, ‘tis a pity HE was a BORE!

]]><![CDATA[Wrist pain corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/wrist-pain-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/wrist-pain-cornerWed, 14 Oct 2026 14:03:59 GMTMy wrist hurts :( I keep stabbing it with my other hand :(

]]><![CDATA[Big boy corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/big-boy-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/big-boy-cornerTue, 13 Oct 2026 14:04:13 GMTFrom now on, whenever a tall and/or chubby man eats a meal or snack, they have to wiggle their eyebrows and say, “Hey, maybe I’m still growing!”

Little boys: don’t forget to get in there too! You gotta grab that food away and save i

]]><![CDATA[Baseball corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/baseball-corner-0f3https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/baseball-corner-0f3Mon, 12 Oct 2026 14:03:00 GMTIf you’re going to intentionally walk someone, you might as well just try to beam them with your fastball.

]]><![CDATA[Fundraising corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/fundraising-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/fundraising-cornerSun, 11 Oct 2026 14:03:32 GMTI don’t think your email gets to say you’re “respectfully asking” for donations if you’re sending like six emails a day asking for free money. Like, “HELLO, ONCE AGAIN I WOULD LIKE SOME MONEY FROM YOU NOW??” I would not call that the height of decorum.

]]><![CDATA[Hawaii corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/hawaii-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/hawaii-cornerSat, 10 Oct 2026 14:02:19 GMTJust a reminder that, if you wanted to, you could just live in Hawaii. And instead of living in paradise, you keep living in, like, Duluth? Or Aimes, Iowa? Just because you want to be close to your, what? Sick mom? A sick mom is better than going to the beach every day? Whatever!

]]><![CDATA[Board game corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/board-game-corner-727https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/board-game-corner-727Fri, 09 Oct 2026 14:03:40 GMTWhat about a board game where you compete to build the most efficient and customer-service routes of high speed rails across the US? I bet you’d love some shit like that, wouldn’t you? You sniveling worm.

]]><![CDATA[Commercial corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/commercial-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/commercial-cornerThu, 08 Oct 2026 14:02:31 GMTEvery advertising executive in the past 3 years brainstorming commercials for any and all products: “I wonder if we can get Keke Palmer.”

]]><![CDATA[Orchestra corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/orchestra-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/orchestra-cornerWed, 07 Oct 2026 14:01:51 GMTA violin can play the highest note of the stringed instruments. The bass can be play the lowest note. But any of the strings can work as a belt if your pants are falling down at the symphony.

]]><![CDATA[Disease corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/disease-corner-be3https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/disease-corner-be3Tue, 06 Oct 2026 15:06:06 GMTThe people who call COVID-19 the “plandemic” say it like it’s a bad thing. What if the “plan” in the “plandemic” was to give us an excuse to miss work, stay home, and watch TV? Yes, one million Americans died, but is that really such a bad plan?

]]><![CDATA[Sports corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/sports-corner-ec9https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/sports-corner-ec9Mon, 05 Oct 2026 14:01:38 GMTMore sports need an equivalent of “Take Me Out To The Ballgame”—a period where everyone in attendance sings about how happy they are to be at a sporting event. “I Hope That Guy Can Get Up” during football games, or “JUST MURDER HIM” during hockey.

]]><![CDATA[Health corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/health-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/health-cornerSun, 04 Oct 2026 14:03:27 GMTI went to the dentist for my yearly checkup, and my dentist told me, “It looks like you have one cavity.” And I said, “If you think that’s impressive, wait until next year … I’ll have two!” And my dentist said, “Huh?” And I said, “If you think one cavity’s impressive, wait until next year … I’ll have two!” And my dentist said, “What?” And I said, “If you think that’s impressive—” and my dentist said, “Look, I’m in the middle of cleaning your teeth, please stop trying to talk right now.” And I said, “Well, them, YOU shouldn’t have started a conversation!” And my dentist said, “What?” And I said, “If you think that’s impressive—”

]]><![CDATA[Sleep-in corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/sleep-in-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/sleep-in-cornerSat, 03 Oct 2026 15:56:15 GMTThe literal translation of the French idiom for “to sleep in” is “to make a fat morning.” This coincides pretty nicely with the American English idiom for going to bed early, “take your fat ass to bed, Jerome, damn, getting on my nerves constantly talking about Anne Hathaway a MILF but not hot, that don’t even make sense, you big fuck.”

]]><![CDATA[Feet corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/feet-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/feet-cornerFri, 02 Oct 2026 14:04:45 GMTSome people got ten toes on two feet. Some people got two feet on ten toes. And some people got seven feet tall and played in the NBA. Yep … mighty beautiful world the Lord has given us. :)

]]><![CDATA[Vacation corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/vacation-cornerhttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/vacation-cornerThu, 01 Oct 2026 14:03:30 GMTMore like vacation CORONER!!! If we were on THE WHITE LOTUS!!!!!

]]><![CDATA[If Elton John wrote a song about two prominent Black magazines:]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/if-elton-john-wrote-a-song-abouthttps://www.dingermagazine.com/p/if-elton-john-wrote-a-song-aboutWed, 30 Sep 2026 14:04:12 GMT“BEbony and the Jet”

]]><![CDATA[Movie corner]]>https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/movie-corner-0f8https://www.dingermagazine.com/p/movie-corner-0f8Tue, 29 Sep 2026 14:04:01 GMTGiven how much money his movies make at the box office, Robert DeNiro is going to have to change his name to Robert Dinero. Or, if he stars in a sequel to the Pixar movie about fish, Robert DeNemo. Or, if he wants to really throw us a curveball and create confusion in the marketplace, Hailee Steinfeld.

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