I put a hotdog up my butt

I went to the doctor, because I had put a hotdog up my butt. My doctor said, “What’s wrong?” and I said, “I put a hotdog up my butt.” He said, “Okay, let’s take a look.” So my doctor looked, and he said, “Yep, you got a hotdog up your butt.” And I said, “Yeah, I put it there,” where “it” referred to the hotdog, and “there” referred to my butt. Then the doctor said, “How did you get the hotdog up your butt?” and said, “I lubed it up with some ketchup,” and then he was like, “Oh, man, here in Chicago, we don’t put ketchup on hotdogs,” and launched into that old tired bit. jfc. If I’m going to get this tired speech EVERY TIME, I’m just going to stop going to the doctor when I put a hotdog up my butt.