Oscars corner
I wanted to catch up on all the Oscar movies before the ceremony, so the other day, I watched Hamnet. Once the movie ended, I turned to my dog, Marcus, and said, “Well, boy, what did you think?” Marcus woofed at me, and I agreed: it was a little ruff.
So I watched F1. Once that movie ended, I turned to Marcus again to ask what he thought. He went out to the backyard, dug something up, and walked in with his favorite thing to chew on. I agreed: I also had a bone to pick.
Finally, I watched One Batter After Another. Once that movie ended, I said, “Okay, Marcus, what did you think of that one?” And he said, “Hey, man, are you okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a Saturday. It’s lovely outside. You’ve been sitting on the couch watching movies for like seven hours. Why don’t you call a friend or something? Go for a walk, get some exercise? See if someone wants to get dinner tonight?”
“I know. I should. It’s just, like … sometimes I just don’t feel great, ya know? And it just feels bad to try to fix how I feel, and it’s easier to just let the bad feelings win for a day, then try to start over the next day.”
“I get it. But sometimes, when making the effort seems hard, that’s exactly when you need to make the effort the most.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you feel bad, you allow yourself to do things that are bad for your mental health, like sit inside all day, eat ice cream, drink alone, etc. And those things make you feel worse, which then gives you more of a permission structure to do things that make you feel worse, etc. You enter into a cycle, and the further you spin, the harder it is to break out. Even though it seems difficult in the moment, the best thing to do isn’t to passively accept how you’re feeling and what you’re doing, but to actively push yourself towards feeling better and making healthy, positive decisions in the moment.”
“Yeah, I get what you mean. It’s just easier said than done.”
“No, I get it. It can honestly be small things. Research has shown that, just by smiling more, you actually will feel happier. Isn’t it crazy how our brains work?”
“Marcus, you’re just a dog! When did you get so smart?”
“Well, I do have my master’s in psychology.”
“You have a master’s in psychology?”
“Of course I do. I got it when I attended school at the University of California. Barkeley.”